Sparkly ED!
by mosshadow
Summary: Making fun of Edward! Written by Mosshadow but content created by Brightclaw. Some crude humor. Prologue posted.
1. Chapter 1

Sparkly ED!

Created by Brightclaw

Written by Mosshadow

Here's a little make fun of Edward fic that Brightclaw wanted to do. And hopefully it'll get rid of my writer's block.

Brightclaw: hello and welcome to Sparkly ED!

Mosshadow: *Thinking* Oh great , the Twihards are gonna kill us all*End thought* Uh yeah....

Brightclaw: we shall now make fun of Edward Cullen!

Mosshadow: and where exactly is super pale dude?

Edward: i right here mortals! I shall now suck thy blood! Oh and by the way do you guys take steroids? Doc says drinking blood that contains steroids cause estrogenocattophrenic discombobulation!

Mosshadow: erm......

Brightclaw: see!? thats why i hate you! Bella was a fool to take a jerk like you with absolutely no personality!

Edward: what about my sparkleyness awesomeness!!!

Mosshadow: you mean when you walk into the sun?

Edward: yeah! I am so damn SPARKLELIOUCOIS!

Mosshadow: thats not spelled correctly.

Edward: who cares when I am this shiny! *steps into sunlight* TA DAHH! *Is VERY VERY SHINY AND SPARKLEY!*

Mosshadow: My eyes!!!

Bella: ever wonder how I got these contacts?

Brightclaw: You have contacts?

Bella: Yeah, keep it a secret? Kay?

Mosshadow: well...*Takes out phone*Yo, tabloid peeps, Bella Wears contacts!

Bella: Sonofa*Censored*.

Edward:Oh I love you so much Bellie!

Mosshadow: yeah, I heard you stalk her outside a window at night!

Brightclaw: not to mention she's like centuary younger than you. Molester!

Edward: but we have sooooo much fun at night!*Mosshadow looks disturbed* At night clubs.

Mosshadow: oh , whew , I thought you meant-

Edward: and we get to see poledancing! And we get these little pills with a big E on them and then the world gets all sparkly and shiny like my self and we go into a room, alone, in the dark and -

Mosshadow:Cough! Choke!-

Edward: we tell each other scary stories!

Brightclaw: you over think Mossy.

Mosshadow: hey ! I was not thinking of what you think I was thinking of!

Brightclaw: yeah right!

Mosshadow: *rolls eyes* But we all know the Edward does weird stuff with Bella, like sucking on her in mutiple ways!

Edward: yea! you see I her neck after i bite her and --

Brightclaw: let's not go into that!

Mosshadow: hey remember that idea that one of our friends had of how to kill Eddie?

Brightclaw: Ha ha ! yeah! Let's stick him in a room of mirrors and shine light on him and he'll become sparkly until he bounces his sparklyness off the mirrors and blows up!

Edward: that would never work!

Mosshadow: actully..

Brightclaw: oh yeah! come on! *shoves Edward into the room of mirrors and lights fire for light*

Edward:Omigod! the Sparkles are too hot!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAHAH

Mosshadow: wow, he screams weirdly.

Brightclaw: like a girl! Ah ha ! He is one!

Bella:You mean I'm Lesbo!.......

Brightclaw*evil smile* : Why yes!

Bella:.... YAYY!!!!

Brightclaw+Mosshadow: WHAT!


	2. Note

Brightclaw: did you know that if you hate Edward you can send in suggestions on what to do with him!

Mosshadow: Oh really?

Brightclaw; yup! Die ed!

Edward: ahhh!

Brightclaw:*Uses flamethrower*

Edward: AHHH! I'm fire ! and I'm sparkly!


	3. Chapter 2

Here's another one for you guys to laugh over, these fics are going to be short since it's not a full show so each chapter will be unusually short for a Mosshadow fic. This is part of an across the Board update so we have most of my other fics updated. If you like this show be sure to see Jayfeather talk a longer multi fandom talk show with 3,000 to 5,000 word episodes compared to 500 word episodes. But similar humor and setting. We've started a new season with a chrismas special too.

Sparkly ED! The first half was written by Brightclaw and the second by Mosshadow and Leopardpool.(But mostly Mosshadow and Brightclaw).

Mosshadow: welcome to Sparkly ED!*Thought* I wonder how many flames we'll get.*end*

Leopardpool: Personally I hate Jacob.

Brightclaw: oh screw that! DIE ED you little pedophile! Super pale , stalking little sonofa*Bleep*.

Edward: oh Bella , oh Bella where for art thou ?

Bella: OH Edward, oh Edward, where art thou Edy?

Brightclaw: so , how old are you Ed?

Edward: Why, my age is over nine thousand!

Mosshadow: uh, thats nice.... child molester.

Jayfeather: Hey, I brought the T.O.W.

Fell: I carried it jerk!

Readers : **Groan** , here we go again with an insane amount of fandom crossing...

Brightclaw: OMG, its the Emos! *****hugs both* .

Fell: Can't breathe..

Jayfeather: ugh, it's the death hug....

Leopardpool: oh, it's Fell, the wolf on crack....

Mosshadow: what ever, get out guys.

Brightclaw: WEEEE! *deathhugs every one in the room including audience.*

Jayfeather: *cuts himself and bleeds to death*

every one begins twitching.

Yellowfang: not again *zaps Jayfeather back to life with remote*

Brightclaw: gasp, hey look ! I'm sparkly from hugging Edward! ….. EWWW!

Audience: Yuck!

Mosshadow: Let me purify you .* zaps with remote.*

Edward: how dare you get rid of her sparkles.... very well then, if you do not except the sparkleness, I shall force it upon thee. Attack! Sparkle Zombies!

Sparklely zombies that have been mutated by Edwards sparkle begin to plod towards the cast.

Jayfeather+Fell+Yellowfang: *all run out the door*

Mosshadow: oh god! His Sparkleness is infecting the dead!

Brightclaw: let's take them down! *pulls out desparklelization cannon* Die !

She begins shooting all the zombies.

Bella: never! You must die! * pulls out sparklely wand* ! Stupidfy !

Mosshadow: Oh , great, Harry potter crossing over now.... *pulls out wand and cast shield spell*

Leopardpool: *throws book at Bella*

Bella is knocked unconcoius by the large novel , which happens to be War and Peace. By then the other Zombies have been killed by Brightclaw.

Brightclaw: HA ha ! Dullness has triumphed over Sparkleness!

Edward: Fool! Now you shall feel the power of the Sparklely side! *pulls out sparkle saber*

Brightclaw: Damn you ! *Pulls out green lightsaber, while Moss and Leopardpool take out blue sabers*

Edward: I sense fear.... of my powers of molestation!

Brightclaw: you shall fail! *slashes*

Edward blocks and then raises his hand and sends lots of sparkles at them.

Mosshadow: erm.. lets just get the hell out of here!! *begins to runs out*

Leopardpool: Yeah, good idea! *runs out too!

Brightclaw: Hey! Wait!

Edward: *stab*

Brightclaw: *runs away*

Edward: hey come back you unsparklely cowards!!

Mosshadow: now what?

Brightclaw: it's simple, I put in in over nine thousand sticks of TNT in the studio!*Smiles*

Leopardpool: But we need the studio for Jayfeather talk later !!

Brightclaw: We have insurance right? Anyway ! THIS IS SPARTA! *presses button*

Edward: hmmm.... I wonder why they ran out, it's almost suspicious, but I doubt it, they're to stupid to try anything! Not like they stuck in tons of dynamite! Ha ha!

Studio: *EXPLODES IN A MASSIVE FIREBALL*

The end!

Mosshadow: What ? It's the end already?

Brightclaw: yep , this ain't an insanely Jayfeather talk show!

Mosshadow: whats wrong with length?

Brightclaw: just shut it!


End file.
